Improve Grades and How to Let Hate Go

Latest Blog: “Improve Grades & How to Let Hate GoBY LOIS PRISLOVSKY

The title, “Improve Grades & How to Let Hate Go”, probably sounds unrelated, but today like many of you I find myself dealing with multiple pressing concerns and on the precipice of feeling overwhelmed.  Fortunately, I wrote a chapter recommending, “Designating a time for everything may allow you to better focus on one connection at a time. This type of mindful focus on who or what is in front of you adds quality to your relationships and productivity.”
I begin by focusing on my business owner task to grow Psychoeducational Network (PEN) tutoring.  May the following ad help you and yours FINISH THE SEMESTER STRONG:
Need to get those grades up?
If you have access to Internet, we can help.
You, your child, or teen does not even have to leave the comfort and convenience of home.  Our outstanding instructors meet with clients via Skype.
Call PEN today and set up your Skype tutoring appointment for Math, Science, Writing, and Languages.  Our tutors help clients learn the subject material AND organizational, study, and time management skills865 579-2727
Testimonial:  “Due to HIPAA and Pink House privacy laws, I can’t tell you how many of my friends and family have used PEN Skype tutoring – BUT IT IS A LOT and ALL made OUTSTANDING progress.  Sincerely, very satisfied, repeat PEN customer, Lois.”
The next thing on my “To Do List” as a psychologist and a real person is to figure out:  HOW TO LET HATE GO.   May the following considerations help us all.
It is usually wise to start your day with the hard stuff.  Trying not to HATE is way more difficult than promoting tutoring, so I did start there…but, I had to write the aforementioned ad first to give my eyes time to stop burning.  You see, like LOVE, HATE permeates one’s entire physical, mental, and spiritual being as long as it has fuel.    Prolific thinker, Howard Bloom says, “Attention is the oxygen of the human soul.”  We know what we focus on grows.  Attention fuels emotions like LOVE and hate.  The solution may lie in the belief that love and hate are mutually exclusive.  If one cannot feel love and hate simultaneously, “letting hate go”, may be accomplished by practicing transitioning from one emotion to another similar to how we successfully treat anxiety.  Anxiety is the most common and the most effectively treated psychological condition.  Clients overcome anxiety by understanding that it is physically impossible to be in a relaxed state and experience anxiety, so they practice mindfully moving from the undesirable state to the preferred state.
The key to managing most emotions is one must first feel it to heal it.   But conquering hate seems to be more time sensitive – one needs to act fast for best results. When someone hates you – you can’t really dodge it – you feel the black tar bomb hit. Your first reaction may be to throw back HATE even harder…but you KNOW that will only drain your energy and ruin the environment making everyone sick. The trick is to take the hit and quickly convert the negative energy to positive.  Rather like the counter move from Wynaut the Bright Poke’mom.  If LOVE is administered right away it very effectively decreases hate with every application.
Anxiety clients prepare for inevitable anxiety by learning and practicing steps to be their own solutions before panic attacks.   I contend, hate coming your way is equally unavoidable in this world, so it is wise to proactively fortify your LOVE arsenal and plan your counter.  Below is a 5 Step breakdown of NOT “How to Let Hate Go”, but rather “How to Transform Hate to Love”  (Sorry for the bait and switch, but I just figured it out myself.)
Step 1:  Get LOVE rich.  This is the easiest “Get Rich Scheme” ever. There are innumerable joyous ways to make sure you always have more than enough love. Discovering the kind of giving that is crazy fun for you is an excellent start.  One can easily take love others give and I highly recommend doing so with profound gratitude; but if you want to be LOVE RICH you need to open wide and start spraying your blessings wherever you focus.  Don’t worry you won’t run out.   You have now tapped into the universal system and limitless Love will pour into you.  Its like you are a firefighter who just connected to a big city hydrant and you now have the power to soak whatever you aim at as long as you are strong enough to hold the hose.
Step 2:  Don’t Wait.   Be alert to when you feel a HATE hit then DO NOT HESITATE – send a LOVE counter immediately to the hater.  The solution to pollution is dilution and that takes action. Start raining love.  It is a privilege to help someone dissolve hate.  Notice I did not write, “It is a privilege to help someone to dissolve their hate”.  Because I doubt the hate in play originated from the source you see in front of you.
Step 3:  Don’t get all judgey. It will not serve your task.  As James Van Praagh writes, “How people treat you is their karma.  How you react is yours.”  Besides, dealing with difficult people teaches us volumes and learning great lessons always helps take the hurt out of pain.
Step 4:  Try to actually enjoy the challenge.  Transforming hate to LOVE often feels VERY hard.  Wrangling hate into love, is like CrossFit for emotions.  CrossFit is intense exercise and stressing your body, mind, and spirit is PRECISELY how you grow stronger.  Practicing this positive mindset that there is much to gain from difficult experiences is requisite to leaning into the painful emotional work out.
Sometimes, transforming hate to love is not hard. Always take these easy shots when you get the chance. This photo shows an easy transformation I spotted on my jog. Some hater coaled in the word “JEW” in front of a fancy house. I simply found the offending coal and added a heart and an “S”.
Step 5:  When folk see you consistently changing hate to Love like some emotional Alchemist, you may get the credit for being strong –  you are, but don’t let it go to your head.  Everybody helped.
If all this sounds too simple and childish – you are right.  Some of the best resiliency techniques in psychology are Childlike:
Wanna sing? Sing!
Wanna feel sad? Cry.
Wanna feel rested?  Sleep when you are tired.
Wanna feel happy? Smile while skipping.
Wanna make friends?  Share.
Wanna transform hate?  Play your love counter moves and believe they work.
Wynaut try tutoring/LOVE

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